Dear Bouche bée.
Thanks for your review. It is good that you were obviously very impressed with our establishment despite your oddly low score. We do indeed run a very friendly and good quality place.
I don't think your review is really very useful to anyone else because it is inaccurate in some ways so let me clarify a couple of things. The WiFi was unavailable, true, due to cable theft. We waited 6 weeks for the national telephone company Telkom to replace the lines. There was, as explained to you, Internet available in the office for those who simply can't survive without it when on holiday in one of the most beautifully scenic places in the world.
As far as the wine is concerned, it may have escaped your notice that the French are no longer the only nation in the world to produce wine and that opinions vary as to what is the preferred temperature for serving it. Many South Africans drink red wine at room temperature, whatever that temperature might be. Had you closed your mouth for a little longer and allowed your waiter to finish his sentence instead of berating him with your questionable 'knowledge', he would have gone on to tell you that we keep several bottles of each red wine in the cold room at about 10 degrees. That would probably have solved your problem.
And what on earth is a doubtful towel? I have always found our towels to be firm in their belief that they are indeed towels.
A la prochaine, alors, when I shall happily share a chilled glass of Pinot Noir with you ... bon voyage.
Chris